On this day, 10 years ago, I met my husband in Memphis Airport.  It was our first face to face meeting.  Two months later, I would move to Oregon and move in with him.  Five years later we would marry.  Eight years later we would be blessed with Avacakes.

Darin and I met online.  I purchased my first computer back in the late spring of 1999.  The internet was a new and scary place for me, but I was fascinated by it all the same.  The first few weeks I had my new pc I would stay up half the… Continue reading →

Birth Collage Continue reading →

Sorry, was channeling my inner Sally Field there.

The awesome, stupendous and amazing Ali over at My Life With Them gave me an award.  Needless to say I’m extremely flattered to be chosen.   It’s my very first blog award, like, evar!  And this one is meaningful because a friend deemed me worthy of it.

There are some rules that go along with it, so let’s get that part out of the way first:

1) Present this award to 7 others whose blogs you find brilliant in content and/or design, or those who have encouraged you.
2) Tell those 7 people… Continue reading →

Every morning I drive by our local Catholic church on my way to work.  They have a reader board out by the road, whose message changes weekly.  For the last week I have been greeted with “Catholics can come home” each day.  It started me thinking about how we will raise Ava with regard to religion and spirituality.

Neither Darin nor I are what you would call deeply religious people.  We don’t attend church; we don’t read the bible regularly, although we do own one.  But we are both spiritual people, believing in a sense of right and wrong.  We… Continue reading →

Last week I took a chance.  I decided to post about my struggles.  My feelings of failure, anxiety.  Of being overburdened.  I was afraid you’d all roll your eyes and think “another whiner.”  But you didn’t.  You reached out to me.  You offered hugs.  You offered advice.  You offered support.  You let me know I’m not alone.  You made me think about what I could do to make things better.  You gave me hope.  You checked in on me.  You were my friends.  At a time when I wasn’t sure I had friends, there was you.   Thank you.

At 16 months, Ava is still not talking much.  She says a few words, mainly “dadda” “mama” “stinky” (her version of it which sounds more like “inky”) and “hi”.  Oh, and there was that time she called me a dirt bag, but in her defense I was running the garbage disposal at the time, so it’s entirely possible I misunderstood.

What my darling daughter has done is created her own set of sign languages in order to get her point across.

To be let up on to a sofa, chair or bed, she pats the object with both hands.  And… Continue reading →

I woke up this morning with a knot in my stomach.  In the flurry of getting ready for work and trying to get Miss Ava ready too, I didn’t have time to give it much thought.  Then I got to my office and opened up my Facebook page.  It is filled with blog posts.  Almost all titled “Six Months”.  I realize.  Six Months.  Six months since Heather’s beautiful, sweet, amazing Maddie was taken too soon.

I cannot imagine how painful these “anniversary” dates are for Heather and Mike. I watch Ava play and wish that Maddie were still here,… Continue reading →