Seventeen Months.  Today  Ava is seventeen months old.  Since April, when Maddie passed away at the age of seventeen months, I have thought often about this day.  I knew it would be something more than just another month.  And it is.

I can’t explain why Maddie and her passing had such a profound effect on me.  She and her parents, Mike & Heather, are strangers.  I read Heather’s blog.  I followed her on Twitter.  However, when Maddie passed, I felt a physical blow.  As a mother, I instinctively wanted to run home and grab Ava and never let go.  In fact, I did leave early that day.  My boss took one look at me sitting at my desk with tears streaming down my face, and asked me what was wrong.  I told him.  He told me to go home.  Go home and hug your daughter, he said to me.  So I did.

In the last seven months I have continued to read Heather’s writing as she grieves for her daughter.  I have learned so many lessons about motherhood, life and love from her and from Maddie.

This is what I’ve learned.

I’ve learned not to take a moment of my daughter’s life for granted.  Each moment is precious.

I’ve learned to make the most of every day we have with Ava.  To make each one special in some way.

I’ve learned that even on the days part of me is fed up with the demands of being a mother, I need to stop, regroup and keep going.

I’ve learned that there is something to smile about every day, always something to laugh at.  (Thank you, Maddie for always having a beautiful smile on your face)

I’ve learned that in the darkest hour, there is strength.

I’ve learned that the kindness of others far outweighs the negativity.

I’ve learned that you have to enjoy life.  There is no do-over.

I’ve learned the little things just don’t matter.

I’ve learned to love my daughter in a way I didn’t know was possible before.

I’ve learned how fragile life is.  Again.

So today, I wanted to take a moment and say, Happy Seventeen Months to Ava.

I hope we have many more celebrations to come.  But I hope we always remember Maddie, who only had seventeen short months on this earth.