I have spent a large portion of this entire week irritated by one thing or another.  Is it really too much to ask that the world gets a clue? Apparently so, and it doesn’t look as though it is going to happen anytime soon anyway.  So what’s been chapping my ass this week, you ask? Ok, maybe you didn’t ask, but seeing as how this is my blog, I’m gonna tell you anyway.

1. People who want to tell other people what to write on their blog.  If you want specific content, perhaps you should write your own.  If you don’t like what you see/read/hear at any given time, you have a choice.  There’s a little X at the top right side of your screen.  Use it.
   Also?  Please don’t visit blogs and suggest in the comments that the author should get counseling.  Unless you actually KNOW this person and their life, you’re making an assumption based upon some words on a computer screen.  An assumption that is highly likely to piss off the author.  Most people don’t like being told what to do.  Especially if they are ALREADY doing it.
2. Thinking you have the right to tell people what to Tweet and what not to Tweet.  Yes, the Olympics are in full swing.  No, I’m not watching them.  When my stream fills up with Olympic chatter, I know it’s time for me to shut down and do something else.  I have no desire to talk about it or read about it.  However, that does not give me the right to ask or tell people to stop Tweeting about it.  If you don’t like a person’s stream, either unfollow, get over it, or just shut the hell up.
3. Fair weather friends.  I’m actually not sure if this is the right term or not, but I’m not sure how else to classify these folks.  The ones that act concerned for you, but then never bother to check up on you, see how you are doing.  The ones that repeatedly tell you that they care, but don’t follow up those words with any sort of actions.  Those people?  Are on notice.  I’m getting wise, and you’re about to go bye-bye.
4. Facebook.  I have a love/hate relationship with you, Facebook.  I want to love you more, but you keep changing on me.  I want to hear what my friends and family are up to.  However, I really don’t need to know every time they friend someone, join a Mafia, find something on their farm or get a stupid heart.  Things I actually want to read are getting lost amidst the clutter.  Make.It.Stop.
5. Product review pitches that start with “Dear Blogger”.  I know this is old hat to many of you, but I got my first one this week.  Nothing like a nice, impersonal email from someone who didn’t even take the time to read my blog.  Here’s a hint for you PR folks out there:  Get to know the person you’re trying lure in.  Take the time to read their writing.  I would have been much more likely to respond if my email had gone like this:

Dear Jenna,

What a wonderful blog you have here.  Little Ava is simply adorable.  We think the moms and ladies who read you blog would be interested in our latest product, and as a result, we’d like to send you some free samples to try and also for a give away.

However?  What I got was:

Dear Blogger,  (some things have been changed to protect the innocent)

Douche Bag Brands has come out with Stink Be Gone (new flavored mouth rinses for after brushing your teeth)!!! These are arriving here on March first.

There are four new kinds with flavors consisting of Spearmint, Orange & Vanilla.

We would love to send you two entire sets. One set is entirely for you to keep and the other for a giveaway on your blog.

If you are interested I will need your full address and the name of your blog site. (Really?  You had to go to my blog to send me that email, I think you’d have my blog name)

Ain’t gonna happen, Douce Bag Brands.  Sorry.  I don’t do product reviews and even if I did? That is a bad way to go about it.

Anyway, that’s most of my ass chapping for this week.  Stay tuned next week for a whole new chapter of “Jenna gets pissed off.”

Feel free to leave your rants for the week in the comment section.  Just don’t tell me I need therapy ok?