Today’s GTT topic blows the lid off our fears…what we are afraid to do. My list isn’t terribly long. But the few things that push me to the edge of insanity are pretty intense to me.

So what am I afraid of?

Spiders and snakes of any shape, size, color or venomous capability. They simply make me lose my shit. Hardcore. Once when I was around 16 or so, I was walking across our front yard after having been to the neighbor’s house. Halfway to our front porch, I saw something coiled up on the lawn. It only took my mind seconds to register “SNAKE”. I froze. Literally could not move. It took me a good five minutes for my voice to come back so I could scream. And scream I did. My mother came running outside, expecting to find me with a limb chopped off or some such injury. She was rather perturbed to discover that it was “only a snake”. Yeah. Bite me, mom. While I stood there paralyzed, she went, grabbed a hoe (shut up) and proceeded to lop its head off. Mom, slayer of serpents. Jenna, chicken shit.

Heights. Anything over 4 feet off the ground is too damn high for a human being to be off the ground. I can’t even watch television if they’re on, say, the top of a gigantic river-spanning bridge (I’m looking at you, Mike Rowe – knock it off) or panning around from the top of a high rise. My palms will sweat. My stomach will churn. Black out or freak out will soon follow. I lose all sense of reason. No amount of calm, rational discussion will help me if I get to the point of yelling. Just get me down on terra firma. Top/side of a mountain does not count, FYI. I need to be as close to sea level as possible. Cause I might fall off the side of the Earth and die, yo.

Talking on the telephone. Yes, I do it in my job every single day of the week. But I hate it. I will email, fax, send letter by carrier pigeon, anything to avoid it. I will talk to Darin, my mother, MIL, etc. But that’s about it. I really can’t explain the fear. I’m not certain what it is about it that scares me. Afraid of the long pause? Looking stupid? Silly? Running out of things to say? (Shut up, Issa, it does too happen). Whatever it truly is, I have to know somebody for years before I am comfortable chatting with them on the phone. I envy people on Twitter who can exchange numbers and just like that start calling each other and having conversations.

Going to the dentist. My parents weren’t exactly big on oral hygiene. Mom had a gum disease that left her with dentures when she was 40. She never went to the dentist. Somehow with all the other stuff going on with my dad, he just never went either. So when I had to have a tooth pulled when I was around 13, that was an eye-opening experience. I had pain so bad, I wet my pants. Wet. My. Pants. You can imagine how embarrassing that was for a 13 year old. It left me so traumatized I’ve only been to the dentist two other times since then. Yes, I know how bad that is..so you can save the finger shaking emails. I just can’t do it.

That’s about all I have right now. Of course, as soon as I hit publish I’ll think of something else. But we’ll leave those for another day. So. What are you afraid to do?

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