Issa posted yesterday about things she hates.  I jokingly stated that I should write a list like that, but I was afraid if I started, I might never stop.

However, it being Friday, and sunny outside, I don’t feel like writing anything serious or deep today.

So without further ado, here’s a list of a few of the things I especially dislike.   Hopefully, I won’t  have to start another blog just to contain it all. 

Websites with videos that automatically start. Some of us are trying to stealthily surf the net (OMG, that sounds SO 90′s) from work, yo.  How am I supposed to hide the fact that I’m really searching for recipes when I’m supposed to be doing something for which I get paid, if the minute I open a web page a loud ass theme song or advertisement starts blaring?

Olives. Who the fuck ever decided to eat these things?  Even after curing, brining, stuffing, they are inedible.  Not to mention, you can’t even eat them straight from the tree.  And really, how desperate was someone for something to eat that they spent THAT much time trying to make them palatable.  It’s the same thing with a lobster or a crab.  Both of which I like, btw.  But don’t you wonder who was the first person to look at that and go “Let’s eat it!”?

Eggs on cheeseburgers. I don’t get it.  Maybe it’s because I really don’t care much for eggs, unless it’s egg salad or deviled eggs.  But the thought of a runny yellow egg yolk on my cheesburger is gag-arrific.

Fake buttons and zippers on baby and toddler clothing. Either make it functional, or leave it off.  It drives me nuts, and more importantly, it frustrates my daughter to no end when she tugs and tugs at a zipper that isn’t going to move.

Soy sauce.  Just the smell makes me nauseous.  Its the main reason I have such an aversion to most Asian cuisines.  Well, that and the fish sauce.  And again, WTF?  How did fish sauce come about?  Hey, what should we do with all these leftover tiny fish?  Oooh,  I know!  Let’s leave them out in the sun to dry and then we’ll pulverize them.  And THEN!  We’ll add water and let it ferment until the next town complains about the smell.  Then we’ll bottle it up and sell it.  People will LOVE it.

People who constantly Re-Tweet. I’m not talking about someone who occasionally does it.  I’m talking about the person whose stream is 90% other people’s tweets.  I mean, if you can’t come up with ANYTHING to say that’s original?  Maybe Twitter isn’t for you.

People who expect more of you than they are willing to give. I’ve run across that several times lately.  I don’t get it.  How can you expect people to do something for you that you aren’t willing to do for them?  Relationships have to be about give and take.  If not?  Not worth my time.

Smoking.  I don’t understand how someone can enjoy something that smells so bad and is SO detrimental to your health.  Also?  I know I’m gonna get flack here, but…I wish there was NO smoking in public period.  I’m all for freedom of expression and individual’s rights, but smoking harms people around you.  Not just the smoker.  I have asthma and there have been many times I’ve had to use my rescue inhaler courtesy of someone’s need to consume some nicotine.

Beer. Again, I don’t get the appeal.  It takes like piss.  Or what I assume piss would taste like, never having actually imbibed that particular liquid. I can’t stand the smell, the taste, none of it.  I think I’d rather eat an olive.  Maybe.

Pumpkin pie. Pumpkin anything, really.  I know, I know…that makes me look anti-American or something, but I just don’t care for the flavor.  I dread Thanksgiving coming around because I will have to make the dreaded pumpkin pie just so the family will be happy.  Me?  I’d rather have chocolate cake.  Or cherry pie.  Or chocolate cherry pie cake.

Turkey. I may have to turn in my citizenship and move to Canada after this AND the pumpkin pie thing, but I hate the smell and taste of turkey.  Again, I make it every Christmas for my family.  If I didn’t there would be a revolt of epic proportions.  So I make Darin  do most of the work.  Like prepping.  And putting it in the oven.  And carving it.  Ok, so I make him do all of it.  If it were up to me, we’d have a big pan of lasagna, a salad, and some garlic bread.

Mmm…now I want pasta.  Wait, where was I?  Oh yes, being a hater.

Actually, I probably should stop now.  So there you have it.  A tiny fraction of the things that drive me crazy.